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TM 174: Would you ever kill a human being? (Or whatever.) 
4th-May-2007 12:04 am
look ma I'm a crappy myspace photo
Killing's wrong. Any kid will tell you that. Mind you, that same kid will then go out and pretend to shoot his best friend dead. The things kids do for fun.

I like to think most people never get beyond that basic killing is wrong. So we don't do it state of mind. It's a good state of mind to be in. But then again that's probably just my damn optimism. Probably the average housewife has deep buried fantasies about killing her husband and running off with the mailman, or some such. Have you seen this country's collective subconscious? It's a severely fucked up place. But there is, thank God, a good difference between a few deep buried fantasies and the lunatics who actually go out there and do it.

Ask me that question as a teenager, I probably would've said hell yeah, I could kill someone if it came to it. Come the revolution. Death to the pigs. All that. But again, average joe fantasy, fucking lunatic reality. Also, teenager. Therefore, moron. The whole revolution talk - I mean, yeah, we meant it, thought we did anyway. But punk, when you got right down to it, was just our way of realizing that society was so thoroughly fucked, all we could do was scream, "well, FUCK YOU TOO!" Hence all the lovely melodies and great singing voices. The worst damage I ever did in that phase was a bit of spray paint and a few snapped guitar strings.

No, it's the complete and utter sellout phase that did it.

So, I wound up on the fucking lunatic side of things. The question here really is, would you ever kill a human being (or whatever) again.

I'd like to say no, never. I have said no, never. I'm done. Burned out. Never again. Sign me up for a desk job from here until eternity, I am through.

But the desk job thing, that never seems to stick. And much as I want to answer this question with a "hell no," I also want to live. So the answer becomes, "not if I can avoid it." But then that was pretty much how I was thinking of things all along. You do what you have to do.

Some days I wonder just how much has changed since then.
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